It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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