Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
