forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
