She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
