check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
