But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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