I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Do you have feelings for this penis?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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