Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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