People with herpes should wear stickers.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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