john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
