just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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