How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
