Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so let's talk penis.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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