If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
