his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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