All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
