But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
