So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
