I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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