Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
