I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
