WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
