I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
