I didn't shave. On purpose
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
