Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
