i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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