who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
