remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
pray to the hookup gods
My vagina is very pro this idea
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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