My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
