And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
