A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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