I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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