WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
