I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
