I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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