Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
