I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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