I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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