How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
