They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
