I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
