I'm so fucking centered right now
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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