so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You made out with two different species that night
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
