just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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