Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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