I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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