K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We are two peas in an std pod
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
