oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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