You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
