he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
